Come to my window..come on inside, wait by the light of the moon..

Hello, and a merry belated Christmas to you all!

My Christmas was uneventful pretty much. We are relatively busy here for the holidays, but not sold out. We've had all sorts of crazy stuff going on lately though..We've had a few thunderstorms, one of which last week knocked the phone lines out for a few days, at a very crucial time too when people were calling to make reservations for the holidays. Then just as soon as those came back online we had another storm that killed the electricity...Today is the first day in a week we've had everything working as it should. guests, of course, have been getting annoyed by all these problems even though we can't control the weather, people. But not TOO many problems all in all. But a lot of people ended up shortening their stays, which is a bummer for the lodge.

I worked the front desk on Christmas, so that was pretty much, bla. But Christmas usually is. In the evening we had a staff dinner, followed by a Madonna Dance Party in the bar, so that was pretty fun. My bosses took the time to buy each and every employee a personalized gift, and I thought that was pretty cool.

I have about a week more left here, and then I'm coming home for a month, woo! I am looking forward to it. It will be nice to have a change of pace, believe you me. This month has been a lot easier on me though than the past few..every day I feel a little bit better about the whole boy situation. I care less and less. Which is kind of sad for me to say, it is sad to stop caring..but if I didn't, then I would not be a very happy person.

What is it about time..it really does heal all wounds, it really does. Nothing heals better than time. You just start to put things in perspective I guess. You build new memories not involving this person..you redefine yourself. You forget. Maybe it's really the forgetting that does it. Things just seem less real than they were. You forget, and you remember. You remember who you are, what you are, why you are. I am enough, just me. I am enough to satisfy me. This is not to say that I don't want to eventually find someone to share my life with, but for now, I am me, and that's okay. It better be okay, because it's not going to change any time soon.

I do wish that he would at least talk to me though. He seems to have decided to ignore my existence completely. I am afraid this might be due to the fact that I wrote him a rather indelicate email, explaining how I felt about a few things. Ahem. It might not have been the nicest thing I ever did, but there was some stuff I needed to get off my chest. But I'm afraid I might've hurt his feelings to the point where he just doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Which, actually, is completely retarded, considering how much he's hurt me and lied to ME and I still want to talk to him. Oh well. Or maybe he just doesn't want to talk to me for some other stupid reason. Maybe I should just give up on this one. But I just feel like it's such a shame..we got along so well. And now, I'm really not emotionally attached too much anymore, so I feel like we COULD be friends, which I would like.

This whole thing is really my fault. If you look at it in a certain way. If I just hadn't cared too much, then we would have been on the same page, and we could be friends right now. But my heart is just too big sometimes. Now I feel like we really could be on the same page, but he won't talk to me. I just think it's such a SHAME, such a true failure on my part...and I hate that. I really want to talk to him and make amends...I could call him, but I'm afraid that would just be awkward, and he might really just not want to talk to me. Which, for the record, would be really immature of him, but nevertheless, may very well be the case. He has not exactly been the paradigm of maturity these days.

But I guess his immature and stupid behavior is part of the reason I've been able to let him go. Which I should be thankful for I guess. Heh. Always look on the bright side is what I say.
I'm going to be here at the lodge for New Year's too. I think it'll be fun. We're having a big party with a live band. I'm working a lot this week, and last week too. By the time I leave I won't have had a day off in like..two weeks or something like that? But that's good because now I'm not going work for like a month. I hope I can keep myself entertained at home...

Which is where some of you come in! A few of you folks, I hope to see your smiling faces very soon.

I have a bunch of errands and stuff I have to do which will keep me busy for like two weeks I'm conjecturing. That gives me two weeks or so to kill. I've got to get creative.